Day 14: Resting Well
No plan! I just rest well for a day. I will have to prepare for the next three weeks amount of teaching before the next cycle comes up soon. Tomorrow!
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Day 13: Teaching Day
Another teaching day today. Today, I look back, I was OK, not great. Oh Well... My face was a bit puffy in the morning. Maybe because I could not sleep well for the last two days.
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Day 12: Teaching day
The class was exciting with a lot of students who give thoughts to the lecture. Discussing with them was fun to do. Nausea is mild but persisting through out the day.
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Day 11: A day gradually being active
No medication for the last two days. I feel constant nauseous but it has been a manageable level without medication. I don't like taking medications all the time.
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Day 10: After 2nd Chemo
Day 10 is the half way in one cycle. Day 10 was the first day that I stayed without anti-nausea medication during the day. I will take one at night. The half of the 3 weeks-in-between cycle, my days are mostly spent lying down in a bed or couches and taking medications constantly. I only have the second half to be gradually being active. Time is very short to be able to move around, and it becomes very precious time to me. （日本語は英語の後に。Japanese is after English.）
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Day 9: A Healing Session
My friends visited me tonight all the way with a long drive (thank you!). They came to give me a healing session with their spiritual approach. It is their second time giving me their session, once I had after my surgery. （日本語は英語の後に）
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Day 7 & 8: after 2nd chemo
Day 7: DOWN in bed all day after teaching. WOW, it knocked me down. I felt so nauseous even after taking a medication. I had to call my doctor's office if I can take another kind at the same time, I am prescribed 2 different kinds. (Answer was YES!) I remember, the last cycle, I started feeling slightly better during day 7, and I took a short trip to the city. I took it easy and did not push that hard. but
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Day 6: after 2nd chemo - Teaching day
My 1st teaching day after my chemotherapy within a week. I still felt fatigue and I was nauseous in the morning. I took an anti-nausea medicine and I felt OK. I was in bed until I really had to get up to dress for teaching. Thanks to my parents for preparing chicken and vegetable soup. Although, no taste to enjoy it, texture was good to eat. I put my cloth, then a choice of my wigs... Well, I might as well do as bright as I can! Putting makeup and putting my wig, I totally look like a girl a la mode! When my outfit completed "me," my posture became great. I need to look proud how I dressed up. Fashion, give me power! I need it right now for teaching. So here I am, I look totally happy with how I am. I received a lot of complements all the time! People gave me big smiles as they pass me by. My colleagues thought I was just doing it for fashion and they really liked it a lot, and did not know my medical condition. So much fun. Those who knew my medical condition thought I pulled my outfit really well from head to toe. Teaching went well. I covered full course time, 2h and 40min. I was exhausted most of the time to walk around, but I just wanted to go around to communicate with my students to catch some issues they might have during class in exercises. Oh, I was nauseous. A way back to my home, a train ride was not pleasant. Full of people, I could find a seat to fit in. But I was nauseous all the day back. Once I am home, I washed my hands and cleaned my mouth well, I dived into a couch. I took another anti-nausea medicine. Time to go to bed! [physical] nauseous. I took anti-nausea medicine in the morning. No appetite, no taste. I was in bed or a couch as much as I could. [emotional] great! I just liked that there were moments that I was so confident of how I looked. It was fun. I am glad that the rest of the week, I will take a good rest.
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Day 5: after 2nd chemo cycle
Labor Day Weekend for BBQ! I did not have appetite, but my husband cooked steak for us and I could taste smoky taste. I could not really taste them, though. But I could eat a lot (-a little less than I normally eat). Thank you. [physically] fatigue. Nauseous as I get up or as I eat/drink something. I need to burp to clear that out each time. All day, laying in a couch. I was glad that I did not have to go for teaching today, it was off. Taste is gone. No appetite. My tongue has numbness sensation, just like after a dentist. My mom tells me I developed some red spots on my head skin. [emotionally] stable. I abundant an idea of moving around, then things look more optimistic. My husband seemed to be a bit stressed out today. I was not sure exactly why, but I was hoping it was not because of me... It was one of his rainy days today. My son was cheerful. He is ready for his new school year! I am happy to see him getting ready for it. Well, it is me. Intentionally, only putting in a small format. The picture was out of focus. Besides, I was not sure if you wanted to see me in this style much and being very casual at home. I understand a bald style provokes cancer image in some way.
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Day 4: after 2nd chemo
[physical] fatigue -whole day in bed. nauseous in the morning, which I took a medicine for and it was mild afterwords. It started to come back, no appetite, and I lost taste today. Try to keep my mouth as clean as possible. [emotional] big relief that my parents came to support me all the way from Japan. Steady. My son was helpful, and cheerful today.
Read MoreDay 3: after 2nd cycle of chemotherapy
I don’t know if those medical socks (in the picture) worked on my swollen…
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Day 2: after my 2nd cycle
Day 1: (for a record) [physically] I could move around, but by the afternoon, I took a nap. I felt some mild nauseous and I took medicine in the morning for that. I took anti-anxiety and anti-nausea pill before I went to bed. I can still taste food. Some appetite, but not my usual level. My feet swollen. I did not do it intentionally, but I took my steroid medication only half the amount I had to take. I did not realize I needed to take 2 tablets. A nurse told me "you cannot do that, medicines are there for reasons." I totally agree with her. I did not forget to take them. I remembered to take them on schedule. I just did not realize that I was taking only half of it at each time. There was a remedy, fortunately, and at the chemotherapy, they injected me with an extra steroid to compensate. The major reason to take the steroid sounded by the nurse was that to prevent permanent feet swollen which can happen to me. So, I was afraid. I remembered wearing a pair of special socks for preventing the swelling. I looked for them and I found them! I have been wearing them since then. [emotionally] I know what to expect. I dropped the idea of "I have to do," rather, I do what I can. Stable. Day 2: after my 2nd cycle [physically] My neck sours. My side of left breast reconstruction somehow feel pain when I push softly. I could move around. My nauseous is more severe. I took a medicine in the morning to prevent that. Most of the day, I was in bed reading or taking a nap. I guess, I taste food OK. Some appetite, I eat, because I should. [emotionally] Stable. I try to take things easy. I notice a lot of things to do, but try to ignore them. Some visitors at door, and I realized I should have a scarf or something handy to put it on before answering the door. Too tired to explain what is going on all the time.
Read MorePertuzumab - Perjeta-, a new medicine, finally for me!
A great news for me!!! My insurance company approved me to have a new targeted therapy called Pertuzumab, or a brand name called Perjeta! Now my chemotherapy treatment is : TCH+Perjeta : docetaxel, carboplatin, and trastuzumab (Herceptin) and Pertuzumab (Perjeta) for HER2/neu positive tumors The last chemotherapy, I checked in at 11:45 AM and I was discharged at 6:45 pm... exhaustive. Pertuzmab, US FDA approved the medicine only 2 years ago, 2012. It comes in IV injection at a time of chemotherapy. They call it targeted therapy rather than chemotherapy. Pertuzumab targets my HER2 breast cancer cells. Her2 is a protein and it can grow excessively around a cancer cell. The cancer cell grow quickly with the Her2. about 15-20% of newly diagnosed breast cancer patients have HER2 positive. HER2 is more aggressive cancer than hormone based cancer. It ranks aggressiveness and mine is the most aggressive kind, HER2 +++. Other targeted therapy for Her 2 is Trastuzumab (or Herceptin). That was approved by the US FDA about 10 years ago for only advanced breast cancer patients and from 5 years ago, it was approved to use for early stage breast cancer patients. Trastuzumab and Pertuzumab target HER2 but a slightly different way. From medical researches, they found better prognosis and better recurrence rate if patients receive both of them, rather than only Trasuzumab. When I saw my oncologist for the first time, she mentioned of using Pertuzumab. I have read about it, but no other specialists had mentioned it before. Since side effects of Pertuzumab and Trastzumab are almost overlapping each other, adding Pertuzumab should not cause me extra stress. Day I called to make my 1st chemotherapy appointment, the doctor told me that she could not put Pertuzumab for me. My tumor was smaller to qualify for it. That was disappointing. When it is not qualified, insurance companies may not cover the drug and it would cost us quite amount of money. Over 3 days, I thought of it a lot. I started to look for information of the criteria. I went to see FDA website and pharmaceutical company's information. I stayed up late to do the research. It sounded I was at a border whether to be able to receive it or not. mmm. I was not satisfied, something was not that clear to me. I contacted my doctor's office and asked for more information about it. Later, according to my doctor's nurse, the doctor spent some time to write a letter to the insurance company for possible approval with my condition. We had to wait for the insurance company's response, which could take 2-3 weeks. Meanwhile, my 1st chemotherapy had started. I thought the new target therapy Pertuzumab had to be done at the day 1 as well. But I learned it could wait and I could start from later chemotherapy. Good, I hoped for a good answer from the insurance company. This past Monday, I saw my doctor and she told me that the insurance company approved the medicine and I will be treated with Pertuzumab! Thank you so much!!!! I would like to choose to have a better outcome after going through this. From the 2nd chemotherapy, 2 days ago, I now have the Pertuzumab as well. Let's hope for the best!
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Bald is my new style
After I came home from the chemotherapy, from my previous experience, I knew I may have 2 days that I can move around. Before sinking my body into my bed and rubbing my head against my pillow for a long time, I decided to take my situation under MY control. Instead of my falling hair to control my emotion. I was determined. My forehead hairline was moving backward. It was not true, if I say that was fine. It harts to see it's thinning. Courtesy of my husband for making me bald and courtesy of my son for documenting this moments, I became bald. Thank you guys! Some of the photos are out of focus, but great job, my son! It definitely captured the moments. Here are some of the documented photos, if you are ready. So, there you go, the bald is my new style for now! Maybe because I was at the chemo unit today at the hospital, somehow, when ever I see bald style women, I cannot help but to associate my bald image to cancer and nothing else. I am sure there are women out there being bald because they choose to do what ever the reasons are. Yes, it is emotionally not easy. In the pictures, I can see I was afraid at the beginning. Well, the machine makes a lot of noise and I was not familiar with it's buzzing right next to my ears. As time goes by, I look more comfortable. Putting this blog was not easy for me to review, but it should be well documented. I choose to be bald, it is under my control! I like that attitude! With this new bald style, it will be completely new experience to me. Many women with breast cancer go through this. I am hoping to deliver some messages that your appearance may have to change unwillingly due to cancer, but you can heal it physically and emotionally well with some help of fashion and attitude. Yes, there are moments that cancer haunts you, it has been happening to me, too. I am sure there will be days that I feel so depressed, well, in fact, I had panic attacks and was seeing a psychotherapist . But I would like to bring things together somehow so that I can get back to the woman I used to be, or even with more strength! I love you all, thank you for reading my blog.
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I will be checking in for 2nd chemo cycle today
I will be checking myself in for the 2nd cycle of the chemotherapy today. …
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Day 19: Vegetarian Restaurant GOBO in NYC
2nd day of teaching for my the other Fashion Economics course today. I teach the same subject Mondays and Tuesdays, 2 sections with two different groups of students. (Japanese Translation is later 日本語は英語の後に記述あり。) I don't know how other professors are, but when I go to a class room on day 1, I get anxious to find out how I do with a new group of students. Each group can be really different. I started to notice my heart beat goes faster than usual. That made me wonder, if I was doing OK. (and I was OK.) One of a side effects of my chemo treatment that is explained to me was I might have some heart problems. I did not ask exactly what or how it was. Because there were so many side effects that I did not have a capacity to comprehend all details of how each side effects potentially do to me exactly. Just understanding the list of possible side effects. A baseline of my heart condition test has done before my first chemotherapy. I will do the test regular to make sure I don't develop anything serious. Knowing that I may have a heart problem, faster heart beating makes me worried if I am doing OK. This time, I knew the reason of my fast beat and I was hoping that it was a separate incident from the side effects. It happens many times especially on the first day of teaching. Nothing serious happened, no worries. A visit to a vegetarian restaurant; GOBO in NYC (http://www.goborestaurant.com/west/index.htm) After the teaching, I got together with a good friend of mine. She introduced me to this vegetarian restaurant. She knew I wanted to catch up with vitamins and minerals with vegetables and fruits. A vegetarian restaurant!? sure why not. I have never be interested in going to a vegetarian restaurant myself. But if is for the first time, during chemotherapy sessions will be an ideal time to dine. WOW, it opened my eyes! What a great surprise I had. "If that is for everyday, I can become a vegetarian!" Clean, sleek, modern, but warm and cozy inertia decorations. Presentations of meals look very attractive. AND of cause, the taste and WOW, the texture of vegetables, bravo. The menu had mixture of Asian and Italian. Gobo, the name of the restaurant, comes from a root vegetable called gobo in Japanese, but the food was not Japanese. Soy bean paste pate's texture was just like chicken nuggets. King Oyster Mushroom had light cuts on surface and it's texture was just like squid. Seitan -wheat gulten, seemingly a good source of protein- was like a piece of beef. So interesting! I was really content of what we had. She told me that there are other restaurants like this in the city. Interesting. No reason to avoid vegetarian restaurants any more, I am sure some of them are so satisfying for non-vegetarians, too. Vietnamese spring roll: Home pressed ginger ail with pomogranate Soybean with brown rice King Oyster Mushroom with vegitables Seitan, Kale and coconuts rice Passion fruit creme brulee and chocolate cake
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