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7th Cancerversary 宣告から7年目

Yoko Katz June 2, 2021 0 comments

I counted my 7th year cancer anniversary recently since my 1st diagnosis in 2014. (日本語は英語の後に記述)

Once I learned it was stage 1, the chance that I would be here for the following 5 years was pretty high, whether or not I would be clean from cancer or not. The survival rate was almost as high as people without a diagnosis. In that aspect, it is not strange that I am still here, statistically speaking.

A radiologist who told me over the phone about my biopsy could not tell my stage. I waited for 5 days to find out it was most likely to be stage 1. Those 5 days, my typically vivid visual memories are somehow mainly black and white, and mostly white. I remember exactly how I felt, whom I have communicated with, but I don’t have many visual memories from there. What I thought, on average for a Japanese female, to live for another 50 years, suddenly shortened to less than 5 years. The long path that I vaguely imagined in a distance had a sudden cliff in front of me and I could not see the continuous path from there anymore.

I learned so much about this illness, from Stage 1 to Stage 4, and from a patient perspective to supporters’ perspectives. I have received so much love and supports from all over the world constantly. I cannot love you back enough.

This 6th-diagnosis year, I had from being stage 4 with no-ending Kadcyla treatments and learned it has been working and now NED (non-evidence-of-disease: cancer remission). This new NED status has been a big change for me, but I know it is not guaranteed. I will be on a PET scan every 6 months and from the NED on, I am not so afraid of going under the PET scans to hear something that I would be so afraid of hearing one day. Up to that point, I appreciate my time here and the body that is able to and capable to be active as much as I want. It is subjective what is a waste of my time, but I just don’t want to waste my time at this moment.

Thank you for all of your love and supports that you have shown to me. I hope to give this back to society because you showed me how and I learned so much from you. Thank you for being a part of my life and I feel so blessed to know you.







初癌宣告から6年目は、終わりの見えないStage4のカウントダウンのない、エンドレスに続くカドサイラの治療。でもその薬が効果を発揮していてNED(ペットスキャンで癌の存在が確認できない状態)になる。このNED状態は、私に大きな変化をもたらしたけれど、それも永遠に保証されたものではない。まだこれからも6ヶ月に一度ペットスキャンをする。今後は、ペットスキャンが NEDを継続的に叩き出してくるとも限らず、ペットスキャンをすること自体に身構えるだろう。結果が出てくるまで、震えるだろう。でも、怖いかもしれない未確定な将来に怯えて過ごすより、今ある確定している時間にこの体が動けるのだから、動けるうちに、やりたいことをしておきたい。なにが無駄な時間かというのは、主観的だけど。なんか、無駄にしている時間はないように思えて、それが私を動かしているイグニション。

世界中から、こうして愛と応援に色々な形があると私に教えてくれてありがとう。直接皆様一人一人にお返しすることはできないのかもしれないけれど、こうして 皆様に教えていただいたことを、もっと多くの人の役に立てるように社会に伝えていきたい。癌宣告を受けて、孤独に陥っている人たちが世の中にはたくさんいるけれど、こうしていろいろなサポートがあるから、それを伝えていけたなら、困っている人たちに少しは過ごしやすい時が届くといいなと思っている。