Day 8: Even better than yesterday. I was slightly nauseated, milder than yesterday… the level of nausea is like morning sickness.
I remember having this similar nauseous condition 9 years ago, when I was pregnant of my son. Yesterday, our son’s piano teacher called me to check on me. (Thank you!) Her daughter and daughter in law went through breast cancer recently. She described me “just like morning sickness, isn’t it?” when I mentioned about my nausea. That reminded me a nurse with my oncologist had already told me about that, too, on the day of my chemotherapy. At the hospital, there are 4 specialists stopped by and gave me so many facts and tips. I totally forgot about that comment. Yes, now it is like morning sickness.
This made me wonder a difference between a morning sickness of 9 years ago and chemotherapy nausea today. 9 years ago, when I felt my morning sickness, I felt sick, but there was joy underneath. “Op, this is what it is like!” I did not like it much, but I knew there was something precious I was growing. I wanted it to be growing well. I wanted to get over with it and wanted to meet our baby later. Today, it is true… I have “Op, this is what it is like…” a very same impression, except tone is different. I try to look for something to look forward to to go through this.
Once I get over this nausea:
1. “I will get back to my normal life!”
2. “I will taste my favorite food as it supposed to taste!”
3. “I will feel a big relief.”
I thought listing up would help me feel better, and had better attitude today. Well, I have a mixed feeling about this. I may succeeded to list up something positive, but at the same time, the things I am looking forward to are what I used to already have. I don’t have them now. Then… I look like victimized… and maybe I am a victim of the cancer… mmm, Bummer.
[physically]: Constant nauseous. Not much of fatigue, but I took a nap. Some appetite is coming back! 11th day of my period. Around my nose and mouth, many pimples. Edges of my mouth started ache, some small cut openings. My mouth is sore with one white spot started to show up.
[emotionally]: Stable. Some motivation started to come back to me again, which made me happy. Started to concerned about my hair loss. Will I be able to put together something look good on me with my new area of fashion: bald?