博士論文 口頭試験 ディフェンス 乳癌 クリスマスシーズン

I passed my dissertation defense in PhD Economics last week!  My husband and son celebrated my achievement with a cake and Champagne on the same day.  It was a long, and sometimes rough, journey to come to this day.  I still have to make some minor revisions, but the major parts are all done!  A big relief! (Yes, this is THE big project I have been referring as a big project in this blog.)

In the picture above, I took off my hat while defending it.  I tried to look moderately stylish, but hopefully looked smart to defend a serious paper.  How do you rate?

I was ready and anxious to get over with.  I did not get nervous at all though.  After going through my cancer battle, that was tough and made me very nervous.  I experienced physical pain, and physiological pain such as panic attacks and depression.  This dissertation defense, I felt it was mush under my control.  I knew what I did in my paper.

My husband told me he would come home with a Champagne to celebrate it.  I told my son about the news and he told me we should celebrate it with a cake.  That was a sweet idea!  So, I told my husband to pick up a cake as well so that all three can have it.

博士論文 シャンパン お祝い 乳癌

When I was diagnosed with cancer in June 2014, I had an idea of giving up my PhD.  It was 90% done, but my mind set came to the point of thinking: “why do I bother?  I have cancer.  A life is too short to stick to the idea of completing dissertation.  My friends are making advance in career, while I have been a student all my life…, now I have cancer.  I am stuck with my dissertation.  Why do I bother to complete it?”  Cancer overwhelmingly occupied my mind.

エリックケイザー マンハッタン ケーキ お祝い

I learned great patience while treating my cancer.  Schedule wise, nothing went as I wished.  “A next appointment” could be scheduled in 2 weeks, while I wanted to have it right away.  Meanwhile, what about my cancer, does it get worse?  Well, the earliest appointment can be scheduled in 2 weeks.  At a doctor’s office, I waited for a long time (at some of the offices).  Chemotherapy and its recovery process took long time and my energy was low.  Each chemotherapy took my day for the treatment.  I left home at 6:30 AM and came home around 4 to 5 PM.  I spent 5 months in bed, except when I went out for teaching -twice a week-.  I was fortunate to have great family and friends, I did not have to do any of house chores because of them.  I focused on my treatments.   I personally could not do much, but a life of my family with a child went OK.  (Thank you, my family and friends, again.)

博士論文 口頭試験 合格 お祝い 夕食 アスパラガス トマト パンプキンスープ ポークとスモークサーモン

Especially since my last IV injection treatment this summer 2015, I finally felt I was ready to go back to my big “undone” project: dissertation.  I relied on my family and friends once again.  Our home looked messy, but nobody was dying, let it be.  Things at home would be OK, just like while I was chemo treatments.  I learned now patience to do a big project.  I did not really have “weekends,” “holidays” and “socializing” for awhile, my mind was on dissertation 24/7.  Finally, I defended!

I will have a great holiday season this time!  A happy holiday season, everyone!

経済学の博士課程 口頭試験合格!ハズバンドと息子が、当日の夜 ケーキとシャンパンでお祝いしてくれた。ここまで来るのに、すごく長くかかった。まだ 少し手直しをしないといけないけれど、大まかな流れは変えないので、ほとんど終了!いゃったー!

口頭試験の外見。それなりに私らしいスタイル、でも 真面目な論文をするのに 賢そうな格好と思ってスタイリングした格好で。どうかしら?帽子とスカーフは、外にいたときだけ。中では取ってました(女性は室内で帽子を取らなくていいんだけれど)。


癌を経験して、辛抱強くなったと思う。スケジュールは自分の思うようには進まない。「次のお医者さんの予約は、そうねぇ、2週間後しか空いていません。」と、今すぐ見てもらいたいのに 病院からのお返事はのんびり。お医者さんに行けば行ったで、待ち時間が2時間。ひどいときは4時間。抗がん剤治療は4時間、お手洗い以外座っている。朝6時半に家を出て、帰ってくるのが夕方4時5時の時もあった。家に居れば、ベッドの中で、気力なし。とことん何もしないで横になっている。幸せなことに、やさしい家族と友達に恵まれて、自分で家事が出来なくても、なんとか、子供のいる家庭生活も成り立っていった。(とても感謝している。)

2015年夏、最後の点滴治療を終えて、一区切りがついた。残りの人生で、生きているうちにやるべき事を終わらせなくては:第一弾は、博士論文。再び、家族と友達に迷惑をかけながらの論文生活。家の中はぐちゃぐちゃ、ご飯の準備も手抜き。将来の計画をする時間すらない。でも、そんなことで誰も死ぬことはないから、もうそのままで突き進む。家族や友達とのお約束も、全部「終わったらね」と後回し。週末・休日・運動する時間 全部なくして 論文論文。辛抱強さは学んだので、じっとこらえてやり抜く。やった、そして やっと先週 口頭試験(defense)をパス!

寝不足だった日々を取り戻すかのごとく とにかく寝る。そして、クリスマス準備を全くしてこなかったので、短時間でクリスマス準備もしなくちゃ!です。素敵なクリスマスを 皆さん!癌もなし、博士論文もなし な年末年始になりそう。にしし。やった~!!!



8 CommentsLeave a comment

    • Kaoriさん。

      にしし、ありがとう。これで もう 思いっきり!(採点たまってるんだけどね。。。いつもなら さっさと終わってるのに。。。)でも 本当 思いっきり 楽しめそうよ。

  • おめでとう!おめでとう!


    ファッションも とでもオシャレだに!

  • So you did it. Congratulations!
    By the way, I’m studying an archetype right now. You are “Fashionista” for sure.
    Have a happy new year to you and your love ones.


    • Aiko-san,

      Yes, finally, I came all this way! I am so happy!
      I wonder what archetype is. Yes, I truly enjoy fashion and I believe in power of fashion as well.
      My next goal is to empower patients with fashion.

      A happy and healthy new year to you, too!

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