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Day13: Legs Problem (Teaching Tuesday)

yoko katz October 21, 2014 0 comments

My legs do not corporate with me.

My house locates near a train station. It is so close that the best way to come home is on foot. I have to go up steep hill in this short distance.

My legs do not corporate with me any more (even after changing my shoes to flat ones). The slope is about 300 feet long. I have to take 3 to 4 breaks in between to complete this uphill. It is nothing like “short of breath.” My heat beat does not go fast. I am telling my legs to make a step, they refuse my order. I just cannot make it. I was tempted to sit down on a curb. It was dark and nobody was around, but it was after rain and street was wet. I was almost call my home for help. Finally, I made to the top of the one-block hill and the rest was OK. I was happy to complete it, but at the same time it was a sad discovery. In fact, in NYC, I was walking well as long as the surface was flat.

This cycle is my 4th chemotherapy. I am getting weaker and weaker each time I have the treatment. I wonder how I will be for the next 2 cycles.

I called my doctor to check this situation and she might adjust my dose next time. I will find this out on next Monday.

[Day12 after 4th chemo] Mild Nausea (anti-anxiety/nausea medicine at night.) Legs do not corporate with me. My tongue looks so smooth, no bumps at all, so flat. My appetite is coming back so as the weight. Diarrhea.

脚が 意に反して動かない。


この90メートルの上り坂が 一度に上りきれない。頭では、脚に動けと命令しているのに、脚が一歩も出さなくなる。決して息切れはしていない。心臓もバクバクしていない。脚が動くのを拒絶する。90メートルのうち、3・4回 立ち止まって ひざに手を乗せて 休憩を入れないと上れない。月曜日は、ハズバンドが手を引っ張ってくれて何とか上りきる。火曜日、暗い夜道に 他の通勤者はさっさと上りきってしまい、私だけぽつんと坂道に立ち尽くす。歩道の縁石に座ろうと悩むが、暗闇だし、雨が降った後で地面がぬれている。家に電話をして、誰かに手を引っ張ってもらおうかと真剣に悩む。ぼちぼち 上りきる。上りきってすごくうれしかったけれど、すごく悲しい発見だった。マンハッタン市内の平らな部分を歩くには、問題が無い。



[第4回目抗がん剤後 12日目] 気持が悪い(夜に抗不安剤・吐き気止めの薬)。とにかく坂道が登れない。舌のぶつぶつが きれいに無(まったく寝ている)ので 舌が白くなくつるつるだ。食欲が戻りつつあると同時に、体重が戻ってきている。ところが下痢している。